My most ridiculous moments on L.A. public transportation

You’re going to be shocked when I tell you this, but I survived 5 years in L.A. without a car! WHAT? HOW? You wonder… But – anything is possible, especially if you’re a student on a budget! There was a time, when literally every day I would call my friend to tell her what had happened to me on the train or bus. So many weirdos.

One time, a guy walked in and sat down with his girlfriend on his lap. When he got up to get off the train, I had a second glance as he was carrying his “girlfriend,” which turned out to be a realistic looking blow-up doll with make up, hair, and clothes.

Another time, a guy asked me if he could take me out. I politely declined and said I had a boyfriend. “Who’s your boyfriend? What is he? White?” I said: “No, he’s black.” And this is what he really asked me next: “Oh. So, is he’s a plumber?” WOW. Needless to say, I told him to fuck off.

My blonde, angelic-looking friend had a crazy experience as well: She came down the escalator, and a guy just started kissing her feet.

This next one here takes the cake, though:

On my way to work, a homeless-looking guy hands me the following note, which was a copy of a handwritten original – meaning he probably distributes his copies regularly to other women:

ridiculous note on LA public transportation metro

The note reads: Baby please let me be yours forgive me I am sorry to be blunt and so urgent. I am man flesh and blood please do it I am in need of you can we be as one. Don’t be mean I want you in my life. Can’t happen take me away with you. I need you so bad. Please bo! Yours truly, name and the address of LA County Public Services and an office buildings were the Vietnam Veterans of America office is located.

Now here comes the CREEPY part: Three months later, I start working in this same exact building once a week!

 

And here are some more hilarious experiences I’ve had, collected via old Facebook statuses of mine (these are all 100% real!):

04/12/2010

“on the bus,next to me a gangsta lookin black guy with his mini laptop playin trey songz knowin every word of the song,singing horribly to it.hilarious“

 

09/08/2010

“my friends are visiting from germany and what do they have to see on the bus: a man with NO pants, but with bleeding wounds – probably straight out the hospital – his belongings in a plastic back. OH L.A.!”

 

10/13/2010

“on the bus getting mad stares from this lady when i cough. So i cough a lil extra”

 

05/09/2011

“so i go up the escalator at the metro station. and this guys is peeing his pants!!!! Fortunately i was a few steps behind him! Ewww”

– My friend’s comment: “Jenn… I lived in Los Angeles my WHOLE LIFE and havent seen HALF the shit that you seem to see!! Where do you GO that you get to ‘enjoy’ the ‘wonders’ of Los Angeles?

 

05/23/2012

“the bus driver stopped and decided to call the police on this lady who – while she was on the bus – complained to the metro customer center calling him a rude racist”

 

07/26/2012

“The bus driver: “somebody s music in their headphones is too loud. You need to turn it down.” Ever thought about that this somebody is most likely not gonna hear you because of their loud music in their headphones -.-”

 

Comment with your craziest or funniest experience below 🙂

*Cover Photo by Mark Hogan

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